About Toilet John

The origins of Toilet John came after a bad breakup.  It had been over four years and Toilet John still hadn’t moved on from “his one true love”. Toilet John needed help putting his life in a better perspective. That’s when fate came knocking on his door and revealed the answer to his prayers - John, became a talking toilet.

Just think about it. You think you have it bad? Toilet John gets shit on everyday! Despite this, he continues to stay rooted firmly to the bathroom floor. Toilet John was able to take a step back from his life and take a step forward into a brighter perspective. It’s easy to be objective as a toilet, it's harder to be objective when you are living a human life.

The answer to Toilet John's prayers had been under his nose, or other's bottoms rather, the entire time.  He had created one of the most effective tools to help put the “potty" humor back into his life and all he had to do was take a step back and allow his inner human voice to shine through.

Interview with Toilet John

Who are your parents?

I don’t know who my parents are. My three older brothers and I were orphans adopted by our master’s – the Bater’s.

Where do you live?

I live in my master’s bathroom, but I’m searching for my own place.

What’s your day job?

I’m a toilet. My job is to sit here and get pooped in.

What do you eat?

I am fueled by excrement, but I enjoy the occasional “Animal Style” Inn-N-Out burger.

What does it feel like to be a walking and talking toilet?

I don’t know anything different.

Do you ever feel like an outsider?

All the time. When I go out people are always staring at me. I’m a toilet living in a human world. Sometimes, I just wish I was a boy.

How do others treat you?

Usually people are really nice, but sometimes they treat me lesser because I am only a toilet. They think that just because they shit IN me, that gives them the right to talk shit ABOUT me. My hope is that as others discover who I am they learn that I have a heart and feelings just like them.

Do you have any other questions?